Sunday, April 18, 2010

"Take after each loose bowel movement"

My stats for the week read as follows:

Number of runs - 1 (10k);
Number of visits to the toilet - thousands;
Number of solid jobbies produced on visits to the toilet - nil.

You can probably guess what kind of week I've had. It's been a week where I've had a horrible bug, making me feel sick most of the time, making me need to rush to the toilet on frequent occasions, and where I've been unable to face any food. Brilliant; just what an ultra marathon runner needs, especially when there is a 53 mile race in less than a week. Had I drunk from any of the streams during my WHW run last weekend I would have blamed that, but it seems quite a few people have been suffering from similar symptons this week (including a few people in the office, my mum, and from the sounds of it mrs pacepusher, who was trying to walk the Great Glen Way).

Anyway it seems to have gone now and I was able to run today for the first time this week. I took part in the 'Bridge of Allan Toughest 10k'. I have to say that I don't like events billing themselves as 'the toughest' anything. How do they know? Have they run every other event on the calendar to make that judgement? I would rather call it 'Bridge of Allan Quite Tough Slightly Less Than 10k' - there was a general consensus amongst the GPS owners that the course was not quite the full length. Despite that it was a really enjoyable event - there were a few 'interesting' hills, it was well organised, and the facilties at the start and finish at Bridge of Allan Sports Club were excellent. We got a huge goody bag, a burger and a carton of milk. Great value. Dr Phil finished 5th and first vet, so well done to him, and he took away a very nice Saucony running top. I finished in a time of 44.28; not great, but not bad considering it was my first run of the week. Most importantly I enjoyed it and feel like a runner again, rather than someone who won't go more than 100 metres away from a toilet.

Time to change the subject. Most of my readers will be aware that this was a historic week in British politics - the first time there had been a live debate between the leaders of the 3 main parties. It took place on Thursday night. I thought the 3 leaders were distinctly unimpressive. I like politics, but I'm finding myself increasingly disillusioned with all of the main parties at the moment. I think the system in Scotland is much better, where no single party holds a majority so the parties have to reach some kind of consensus to get things done. The SNP have worked out what they need to do to get things like budgets approved, and I think the country is being governed better for having input from parties across the political spectrum.

Anyway, in case you are remotely interested, here are my main beefs with the current lot:

1. Don't promise in your manifesto that you aren't going to do something (like raise tax rates) and then do it anyway, a few years down the line when you think people have forgotten about the manifesto. That's breaking a promise, and means that I can't believe a word you say this time around.

2. Don't say that your plan is "to offer every citizen in this country the chance to make decisions in their local community". What a load of pish. How is that going to work? Let's think of an example. Cameron says he wants to give parents the chance to sack teachers. So wee Jimmy gets a row from his teacher, and his parent takes the huff and decides he or she wants to have the teacher sacked. So no teacher will risk giving any child a row in case their parents object and try to get them sacked. I can see that will improve the standard of education in this country - NOT. I wonder if the Subversive Runner would like us all to have the right to sack him because we weren't happy with the way he was putting out a fire? Of course not. We don't know enough about it to make decisions like that. What a stupid idea, Davey C. Is it beyond your intellectual abilities to think things through a bit further?

3. I'm getting bored by the bankers being blamed for everything under the sun. Ok, they messed up. But it's time to get over it. Bankers get bonuses. It may not be fair but who said life was fair? Public sector workers get great pensions, unlike anyone else, and I don't see people moaning about that (although I think they should, and the government should be looking at the whole issue of the public sector pay as an area to reduce cost).

4. I'm also completely bored by the response of the 3 leaders to the expenses scandal. Each one of them knows that MPs have historically used their expenses to make up for the fact that they will not get paid as much as they do in the jobs they did before they were MPs. But not one of the leaders has come out and said that - instead they feign anger and disgust, despite being been part of the same corrupt process for the last 10 or 20 years. In my view the problem is that MPs are not paid enough to attract enough people of genuine talent. I'd get rid of half of them and pay the remaining ones more. That way we might get a bit more quality.

There, rant over. I'll be glad when the election is decided.


Debbie Martin-Consani said...

Toilet chat AND a political rant. What a joy :-) Glad you're feeling better though.

Kenny said...

You are certifiably mad Ian. A week of the trots and the first thing you do is a nutty hill/10-ish K thing. You must have been really sure there were plenty of bushes on the way up - I'd flinch at the though of the race itself never mind after a week like that.
As for the politics, the idea of compromise or working with other parties must seem as mad as running the WHW or doing what you have just done to most politicians.
[Great rant BTW]

Anonymous said...

Careful Ian; that post was getting more along the lines of the Subversive One's. Airbrush away the bit about the 10km race, and it could have been from the pen of DW ~ all that talk of bowels, and political wingeing.

Hopefully you'll have shed all your excess weight last week, and now be rareing to go for the Fling at the end of this week.


The Sunday Adventure Club said...

Ian, we must talk, you sound like you're perfect for my idea of The Ultrarunning Party a new kind of politics. Hope you're "floating logs" by Saturday :o)

Lee Maclean said...

I wonder if the Subversive Runner would like us all to have the right to sack him because we weren't happy with the way he was putting out a fire? a station officer you-know-who is kept well away from the burny fire. No fear of him ever having to put one out. I'm told that the higher up the ladder they get (no pun intended) the further away from the fire they are ;-)

He's one hell of a gaffer tho x