Friday, November 02, 2007

The 20 most annoying things about running

In no particular order, and with tongue firmly in cheek:
1. Seeing the sub 3 hour runners being called 'fun runners' or 'joggers' by Brendan Foster during his London Marathon commentary. These guys and girls have trained hard - at least Steve Cram recognises that. Why don't you do it yourself one year, Bren?
2. The aggressively feminist atmosphere at 'women only' races - woe betide any man who happens to venture too close to the course.
3. Short courses - if it's advertised as a 10k, make sure it is 10k. That shouldn't be too hard a concept, should it?
4. People shouting 'you're looking good' when you have 5 miles to go in a marathon and hit the wall 3 miles earlier. Let's be honest - I'm not looking good. So don't lie to me.
5. Being overtaken by a woman (full stop). But it's even worse when it is being filmed by a TV camera crew.
6. Old runners moaning about the lack of veterans' prizes - especially when they are the only person in their age category.
7. People who start on the front line of every race, even when they're not that good. It tends to happen in bigger events like the Glagow half marathon, and you spend the first mile weaving your way round them. There are normally signs at the start which indicate your estimated time. So here's a tip: if you think the race will take you 2 hours, why don't you line up beside the sign that says '2 hours'? That way you won't annoy all the faster runners who pass you in the first mile.
8. Daft excuses for poor performances, such as 'my horse wasn't feeling well' or 'I did a long training run yesterday and was still tired'. That's was your own fault, you fool - have an easy day before a race, like the rest of us.
9. Hearing the excuse that 'I don't run because it's boring' - especially when the person telling you this is one of the most boring people on the entire planet.
10. People who write to Runner's World to complain about being unsuccessful in the London Marathon ballot. If you're that keen to run a marathon, why don't you get a charity place or do one of the 30 other marathons in the UK?
11. Spitting into the wind during a race, and watching it come back and land on your face.
12. Someone else spitting into the wind during a race, and watching it come back and land on your face.
13. A half marathon marshall telling you to stop and wait for the traffic to go past. Yeah, that will be right. Did no-one explain that this is a road race? The cars are supposed to stop for the runners, not the other way round.
14. Club committee meetings where the most trivial issues generate 2 hours of debate. I don't care if the coffee at the 10k should cost 75p or £1 - just decide and move on please.
15. Rivals speeding up when you overtake them..
16. ..then slowing down again when they realise you are too strong.
17. People with no knowledge of running saying 'Paula Radcliffe is a quitter'. Come back and give us your opinion when you have run a 2.15 marathon and won a world championship, all right?
18. Portaloos at the East District relays. What's that all about? Way too civilised. What's wrong with the bushes, Alex?
19. Golfers who shout 'Don't you know this is private property?' Yes we do but read the Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003 and see who is entitled to be there, before you start shouting.
20. AGMs of Scottish Athletics Limited. I don't want to give up my Saturday to listen to 2 delegates having a fight about a chair.


Tim said...

Ho ho! Nice list Ian. I can see I'm going to have to start stealing some of your ideas for my blog. ;-)

Andy Kerr said...

Very enjoyable read Ian

Andy Kerr said...

In fact, I think this needs added:

21: People who run along coughing like they've been smoking 40 a day since they were 14 years old and are now tipping the wrong side of the senior / vets divide and yet still manage to finish tens of minutes ahead of you in races. ;o)